


Peace

by ballisticSquid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Characters feelings, Feelings, Gen, Referenced Death, Season 12 Supernatural, Spoilers, Suicide, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballisticSquid/pseuds/ballisticSquid
Summary: SPOILERS! Do not read this if you have not seen the finale of Season 12. Seriously. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone. The actual description will be in my notes.





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> I felt this fic was necessary. I just wanted to get my take on Crowley's death. I felt that he was at peace with it and that through death he could find happiness. This is my crappy attempt at writing it.

Face to face with Lucifer used to make his blood boil and burn. Now, he feels nothing but peace. That violent anger and contempt for Lucifer burned away not so long ago. It was frankly tiring. These feelings were tiring. The World was tiring. He agreed with Lucifer. He was no match for him. Lucifer could smite him without a moments notice. That bloody smirk. He’d soon wipe that off him. He wish he could be a fly on the wall to see that smug bastards face fall.

It would be a lie if he said he didn’t care about the Winchesters. That’s the problem though isn’t it? He cares. His care for them has gotten him into trouble on numerous occasions. He would never admit he cared. He was just placing a well calculated bet. For a while he felt that Sam and Dean were his friends. That was foolish. When Dean became a deplorable creature like himself he thought he had truly found someone he could have fun with. He still has those pictures. He likes to reminisce about the good days. Of course though it all went side ways. That’s when Moose came along to fix things. Crowley knew it was the right thing to do. He trusted Sam would look after his brother. He did. He was thankful for that.

Castiel. No matter how many times he poked fun, antagonized or criticized that angel he would always have a soft spot for him. They’ve been through so much together. He hates to leave Cas the most. It seems like he needs someone who can understand him. Reassure him that he wasn’t wrong. Simply misinformed. Crowley and the angel have shared many a memory. Some very fond and others he wishes to forget. Nevertheless, he loves his feathered friend. He even loves Rowena. His charred corpse of a mother. They would never see eye to eye but he understood her hatred for him. He was a constant reminder of what had happened. He was a painful memory. He has accepted that. 

His life has been filled with regret, regret and more regret. The fight for the throne has left him jaded. He’s sick of demons back stabbing him, the endless paperwork and the scream of tormented souls. He’s sick of it all. As a human he was an abusive father who ultimately amounted to nothing. When he became a demon he wanted to be something. So he became the King Of Hell. Yet, here he is now. His life flashing before his eyes. He knows now that he was never truly content. Just accepting of circumstances. He knew that no matter how many souls he claimed, how many demons he tortured or how many shots he downed he would never be happy. A person... A creature like him was never meant for happiness. He knows that now. Maybe he is still human after all. This human World has crushed and reshaped him into a shell of a person. He’s just an insect trying to get by and clinging to anything. He understands now. 

There was a time where he was scared of death. There was no telling where he would end up. But as he spent time in that rat he realized that there was nothing for him. He had nothing to look forward to. Nothing to occupy him. No one he could rely on. Crowley was a tool that was passed around and used. He’s not angry. That was his purpose after all. To be a means to an end. He loves them all. He loves their humour, their confusion and even their hatred. He loves them.

“Bye, boys”.


End file.
